May 2008 – akaemi.com
 

Month: May 2008

stairs

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Walking up and down stairs is difficult for me.  Why?  you might wonder.  I am a perfectly healthy 28-year old, stairs shouldn’t give me any problems.  It’s true that I don’t have the best knees or ankles, but that’s not where the trouble lies.

I seem to suffer from a compulsion to run up and down stairs.  I don’t know why I do it.  But when I’m at home and have to get from one floor to another, I do it at a run.  I even run up my front steps on occasion.

I don’t know how long I’ve been a stair runner.  It’s only recently that I’ve even noticed that I do it.  I run up the stairs.  I run down the stairs.  It certainly doesn’t seem like a safe habit, but the times I’ve slipped or almost slipped on my stairs are when I was taking them at a nice, normal pace.

I don’t do it in the mornings, when I’m groggy and don’t have my glasses on.  I don’t do it when I’m carrying large loads.  I don’t do it when I’m carrying a kitty.

Other than that, though, if you hear the sound of stampeding elephants … that’s just me goin’ upstairs.

On our way out of town this weekend, the husband and I ran into horrendous traffic.  Like we were on 95 for an hour and had only traveled 7 miles.

So what to do?  The husband whipped out his handy-dandy palm treo and google mapped us up some new directions.  We hopped off the misery of 95, and headed down 17.  And then route 1.  And finally route 208.  It may not have ended up much faster, but it was certainly more pleasant to be in MOVING traffic than sitting amongst all the people headed to the beach. 

road trip!

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Ok, so it was more like a day trip. 

On Wednesday, I decided that I’d had enough of the same-old same-old, and informed the husband that we were going somewhere this weekend.  I wasn’t picky, but I wanted to get in the car and GO somewhere, and be GONE all day.

I had forgotten how much I love a good day trip, but the anniversary trip to good ol’ West Virginia last month reminded me.  We didn’t do anything fancy – toured the governer’s mansion, caught a concert, went the to art/science museum, shopped at the big mall, caught a community play, and ate at Shoney’s 3 times.  But it was a nice break in the routine.

So, Saturday we drove to Fredericksburg for a day of playing tourist.  We spent a couple of hours at a renaissance faire, a couple of hours walking around the shops downtown, dinner at Sonic, a ghost tour, and dessert at Sonic.

(Hmm, if Ashburn would just build a Shoney’s and a Sonic, I could die fat and happy right here ….)

Yeah, my feet are killing me – the college days of walking 5 miles a day are far behind me.  But there is something nice about going somewhere you’ve never gone just to experience something new.  And I suppose the Sonic doesn’t hurt …

I was born without much of a fashion sense.  Or the ability to really find clothes that fit right.  I drool when I watch ‘What not to wear’ because I’d LOVE for someone to take me aside and dress me ‘right.’

So I was doing a little googlin’ the other day and I found a most wondrous website:  myshape.com.  I punch in all my measurements (and I mean ALL – they have you enter in about 100 different measurements), and then they provide me with a selection of clothes that will FIT me.  And be flattering on my body type.

That’s right.  I found a WEBSITE to tell me what clothes to wear if I want to be fashionable.  How awesome is that?  I don’t even have to talk to anybody! 

And they also tell me what SIZE to get – which is awesome when you’re talking about buying clothes off the net.  Sometimes I’m an extra small – and sometimes I’m a medium.  It just depends on the mood of the designer.

The only downside is the cost of the clothes on the site.  I’ve never bought a pair of $150 jeans; I’ve never even considered it.  I don’t own any shirts that cost over $60.  They put together suggested outfits – which look fabulous – but I’ve never gone out in a $500 outfit before.  Not even my wedding dress … Which I suppose is greatly hindering my ability to be fashionable.

Maybe one of these days I’ll take the plunge into fashionable.  It’s great to know I can accomplish it with just a click of my mouse.

With the advent of spring comes strawberries at the grocery store!

There’s something about eating strawberries – room temperature – dipped in cool whip (no dairy for me, please!) – that is so very indulgent.  Like a hot shower in the afternoon.  Or a trip to the spa.

You have no choice but to slow down and savor the moment.  All thoughts are pushed out of your head as your tongue is overloaded with the luscious texture and tart-sweet flavor of the berry – and the smooth fluffy sweetness of the cool whip.

Mmmmmmmm.  Strawberries!

bad parenting

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The husband and I occasionally contemplate what kind of parents we’d make.  We usually decide that we are as – or more – capable of being good parents as the average parent out there.

Case in point:

At Famous Dave’s BBQ this afternoon, we had the pleasure of sitting next to a lovely family.  A mother, father, 4 year old girl, 2 year old boy, and 9 month old girl. 

Overheard conversation #1:

Girl: <whining and complaining>

Father: Settle down and eat your fries.

Girl:  I DON’T WANNA EAT THEM!!!!!

Father: You don’t know what you’re talking about.

Girl:  I KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!!  I DON’T WANT TO EAT THEM!!!!!

‘You don’t know what you’re talking about’??  I’m no child psychologist, but I’m pretty sure that’s a sure-fire way to escalate an argument with a 4 year old child.  Actually, that’s a sure-fire way to escalate an argument with anyone.

Overheard conversation #2:

Boy: <SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH>

Mother: Stop it!  Stop that right now!

Boy: <SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH>

Mother: That’s enough!!  Stop it!

Boy: <SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH>

Mother: <quiet but scarily stern> You stop that right now!  If you don’t stop that, then you are going to hell!

Boy: <silence>

Excu-sa moi whaaaaa???  Did that mother just condemn her child to hell????  Does a mother really have that kind of power?????  And … why did the 2 year old boy respond to that?  Why was there not another peep out of him for the rest of lunch?  Does ‘hell’ mean something real and sinister to him – like a severe beating followed by banishment to the basement crawl space – as opposed to something he doesn’t have to worry about till the grim reaper comes calling?

So, there you have it.  Two fine examples of parenting that won’t be making it into my playbook ….

This evening, the phone rang.  Expecting a call from potential bathroom remodeler, I answered.  And had a conversation that went a little like this:

Me: Hello?

Telemarketer:  <just connecting to the conversation> Hello?

Me: <having recognized the tell-tale telemarketer phone clicks>Uh, hiiiiiii?

Telemarketer:  Is your mother or father there?

Me: Um.  My parents live in a different state.

Telemarketer: Oh.  <embarrassment sets in>

Me: I’m not interested today, but thank you!

I love not being sick!  I love sleeping all night.  I love eating.  I love breathing.  I love not throwing up.

I love it all so much, in fact, that today I mowed the lawn.  For the first time ever.  I have never ever mowed a lawn, on account of I have three brothers and traditional parents.

And then I picked all the leaves out of my garden.  And raked my sand.  Playing in sand is very therapeutic and calming, everyone should have a sand garden.

And then I watered my little potted plants.

And then I did some laundry.

And then I made dinner.

And then I did some dishes.

And then I straightened the living room.

And then I cleaned the kitchen.

And then I folded the laundry.

And it’s only 8 pm!  I got time to do even more!  And I even have the energy!

There’s nothing like being good and sick to make you appreciate how nice it is to be well.

I woke up monday morning with a sore throat.  I woke about 4 am on account of the pain when I swallowed.  And I woke up every time I swallowed thereafter.  I finally got out of bed at 6 am – a handful of drugs and a chamomile tea later, and the pain was bearable.

I woke up tuesday morning with half a sore throat.  That’s right, just the right half of my throat was sore.  I woke around 4 again, and dozed on and off till finally getting up at 6 am for some drugs and tea.

I woke up today and it was the same drill.  Except the pain never subsided.  I managed to get a doctors appointment today over lunch.  The doctor told me to that my throat would stop hurting when I got better.  And that they never give anything for the pain.  Only antibiotics.  On the hope that my throat infection is caused by bacteria.

I stopped for lunch on my way back to work.  As I sat in the Taco Bell in the parking lot after a quick run through the drive through, it was the most painful bean burrito (no onions) I have ever eaten in my life.  There were literally tears running down my face, but when it comes to me and lunch, I’m gonna eat lunch.

After work I picked up my antibiotics and everything google told me I could gargle to help a sore throat:  listerine, hydrogen peroxide, and children’s liquid tylenol.  I have since gargled it all to no avail.

I just want to be able to eat and most especially sleep without pain.  :'(  I don’t know how parents with new babies get no sleep and then still get up and go to work anyway.  Three days of no sleep and I am useless, I’m lucky I made it home without falling asleep at the wheel.

So how do I get rid of the pain?  I skipped the gargling tobasco suggestion from google, but I am about ready to try it …

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