So, I was thinking about all the free money I got to cover my college bills, and I realized that it was all, well, from people surrounded with controversy.

I got money from an ENeRgy cOmpaNy who stole peoples’ retirements.

I got money from a paper company who went to court for violating EPA standards.

I got money from the US government.

I got money from a senator who used to be a high-ranking KKK official.

And I got money from the Mormons.

So I guess if they were all hoping for me to turn into a polluting, livelihood stealing, racist conversative war-mongering torturer, well, then, they sure did waste their money on me …