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don’t even try to out-nerd me …

I have mastered the art of traveling with minimal interaction with other human beings. Other than my husband, of course.

No, I am not talking about a road trip where you drive out to the middle of nowhere, hike 5 miles, and then pitch a tent; I am talking about a trip that involves flying on a plane and renting a car.

This is all possible thanks to the introduction of the new “self-service” industry. I can book a flight online. Then, 24 hours before my flight leaves, I can check in online, pick my seats, and print my boarding passes. When I get to the airport, there is a special line for me – the “people who already have their boarding passes and need to check bags line.” This line is shorter and faster moving than the other lines. When I get to the front, I enter my information into a self-service check in machine, where I confirm the number of bags I am checking, and then it prints my luggage tags. I do have to show my license to a person who then puts the tags on my bags, but that is it. No prolonged conversation about where I am going. Just me getting on my way.

There is mandatory personal interaction to get through security. As long as you don’t get tagged as “suspicious” – which, these days, includes traveling with children who require such suspicious items as “baby formula” or “juice” – this interaction is pretty minimal, though it does involve disrobing.

Upon arriving at my destination, I ride the bus to the car rental place, get in a car, and drive away. You think I forgot the part where I stand in line for 45 minutes to get the keys to the car I reserved, but I didn’t. I rented from Alamo, who allows me to check in online. Before leaving my home, I paid for my car, declined all the silly insurances, and printed out the 10 page rental agreement. This allows me to bypass the torturous car rental counter. (“Do you want to upgrade your car for an additional $10 a day? Do you want uber-insurance, super-uber insurance, or super-duper-uber insurance? Will you be needing any carseats? Do you want a GPS direction-giving-doo-bob? How about a Sirius radio?”)

As I drive my rental car out of the facility, I stop for 26 seconds and hand my rental agreement, credit card, and drivers licence to a man in a little booth. He checks everything over, enters the car I’m taking into the system, and then I am good to go.

I am excited about the future of the self-service industry. When done poorly, it can be for a miserable experience. But when done right – it is truly delightful to not have to deal with, well, people.

2 replies on “don’t even try to out-nerd me …”

I don’t like dealing with people either-but the counter help never bothered me.It’s the guy with the 78 lb bag. or the too many carry-on women. Or the college girls too busy talking to notice the line has moved ten feet. or the hundreds of others that think that all the help was hired for them-that somehow no one else matters.

Yeah, I hear ya. While traveling during Thanksgiving, we actually witnessed a man trying to talk the United counter agent into letting his party check in, even though he FORGOT his daughter’s id. If I were the agent, I woulda done it and just said, “GOOD LUCK WITH SECURITY.” I mean, the customer is always right …

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