17

That’s the number of burnt out light bulbs in my house. Well, actually that number is now down to 12, because I replaced 5 of them. The other 12 will have to wait till it drops to 90 outside (I’m hoping about 6 tonight) and I make a Home Depot run to buy the appropriate bulbs: 6 giant round bulbs, 4 small round bulbs, 1 small spotlighty bulb, and 1 of those small, oblong, pointy bulbs.

17 burnt out light bulbs. You may very well be wondering: “have you been sitting in the dark??” And the answer to that question is no. There happen to be 80 light sockets in my house. (That’s right, 80 light sockets and 3.5 bathrooms for 2 people. It didn’t seem so excessive when we bought the place …) With 63 bulbs still burning bright, it’s easy to miss the 17 burnt out ones. Until all the lights in single fixture go out – which is what happened, and what prompted me to start on this light bulb escapade.

Thursday morning, I awoke to find that I had no light in the Master closet. Which is troublesome, as that is where I pick out my wardrobe for the day. And that’s hard, when you can’t see much. So this morning, on my errand-running-before-it-hit-100-degrees trip, I purchased 2 4-packs of regular 60 watt bulbs, thinking I’d replace a few other burnt out bulbs I had noticed, and then I’d have a few to spare. Because bulbs are always burning out in my house. Or, rather, it seems like bulbs are always burning out, but when you’ve got 80 to keep up with, it’s not surprising.

So, when I told my husband I was replacing the Master closet lights, he mentioned that of the two light fixtures in the upstairs hall, there is only 1 light bulb providing light. 1, tiny, 40-watt, oblong pointy bulb. Lighting the staircase to the upstairs. And it is sure to give out at any moment, plunging the staircase into treacherous darkness. None of those fixtures takes regular bulbs, however, so that requires a trip to Home Depot. Once the temps drop below ‘instant death.’

(Ok, I know 100, by itself, isn’t instant death. I lived in the Phoenix area till I was 8 years old, and survived just fine, with plenty of running around outside in ridiculous temperatures. But, that, as they say, is a dry heat. Virginia, on the other hand, has a miserably wet heat, a heat that makes you wonder why you even bothered taking a shower if you were going to go outside, because you are sticky-sweaty-wet the instant you step into it. That sticky-sweaty-wet stays with you, even when your car’s AC finally cools the car, even when you make it to the freezer section of the grocery store.)

So, anyway, since I have to go buy specialty bulbs, I decided to take inventory of the whole house. Which is when I realized that all the bathrooms have at least one burnt out bulb. And that one of the recessed lighting bulbs in the living room is burnt out. And that … well, you get the point. I never knew I had so many different kinds of bulb needs! I don’t even know what, exactly, these bulbs are. Which is why I will be taking them with me to the Home Depot lighting center, to play a little game of ‘match’.

Sometime, later this evening, I will have 80 functioning light bulbs. And I will have a stockpile of bulbs, in 5 different sizes, in preparation of the next burnout.