confession – Page 2 – akaemi.com
 

Category: confession

dirty money

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So, I was thinking about all the free money I got to cover my college bills, and I realized that it was all, well, from people surrounded with controversy.

I got money from an ENeRgy cOmpaNy who stole peoples’ retirements.

I got money from a paper company who went to court for violating EPA standards.

I got money from the US government.

I got money from a senator who used to be a high-ranking KKK official.

And I got money from the Mormons.

So I guess if they were all hoping for me to turn into a polluting, livelihood stealing, racist conversative war-mongering torturer, well, then, they sure did waste their money on me …

So, I made myself a facebook account.  Cuz all the cool kids were doin’ it.  I even made myself some friends, people I knew from the neighborhood, people I knew cuz they were my husband’s friends, a college roommate, even a few people from way back in high school.

It’s kinda neat, connecting with all these people.  And doing quizzes, super-poking, playing games with them all.  I’ve made it to my first stop on Oregon Trail, I lost a Scrabulous game that I sooo totally cheated on (how LAME am I??), I’ve sent strawberries to people, accepted their karma, and updated my status.  I’ve written on people’s walls, and invited them to play silly games with me.  Oh, and begged them to read my blog …

I logged on the other day, and in my news feed, saw that my neighbor was playing poker with a guy I went to high school with.  How DARE he??  I had dibs on that guy!  I dunno if I was the link that brought them together, or if they managed to find each other on facebook through some other route.  Either way, it was a strange feeling to see those two worlds collide.  I mean, really – he was my friend first …

I was surprised recently when I heard a song on the radio, and realized I liked it. 

I don’t like country music.  I generally don’t care for female artists – pink, gwen stefani and alanis are the sole ladies in my music collection.  (I promise, I’m not an angry person … I’m not even that moody…)  And I hate sentimental, sappy anything – especially in songs.

So imagine my surprise when my radio station (which is NOT a country station, I dunno why they sneak country songs in) was playing Taylor Swift’s Teardrops on My Guitar – and I liked it.  I usually change the station when it comes on, but I was in traffic that needed my attention, so I couldn’t safely get to the radio dial immediately.  And so I listened.  As I dodged a bus and thought something mean about the little man in the little mazda.  That got his driver’s license from a cracker jack box.

I haven’t figured out why I like it yet.  Maybe it’s because I bought the cd for b2 for Christmas.  Or maybe my angsty, edgy quota has been filled.  I haven’t tried singing along to it yet, but I suspect it might just be in my half-octave range – that could be part of its appeal.  Or perhaps the husband has finally worn me down on country.  Or it could be her fabulous sparkly eye shadow and face jewels.

Whatever the reason, congratulations Taylor Swift.  Toby Keith got me to think some of his songs were funny, but yours is the first country song that I actually … kinda … like.

I haven’t been to the dentist in a long time.  Years.  Three of ’em.  I knew it was a bad idea, but when you’re a grown-up, it’s hard to take care of little things like dentist appointments.  As a kid, I was in that office once or twice a year, and I couldn’t understand how my parents could possibly go 5 or 10 years between visits.  Well, now I get it.

So, at today’s appointment, I learned that I have 9 cavities.  One of which needs a root canal ($$$$) and a crown ($$$$).  Now, I know that I need that root canal, the doc isn’t trying to pull a fast one on me.  And how do I know?  Because …. I …. have a …. hole …. in my tooth.  A big one.  I can put my tongue in it.  And feel something soft.  That tastes … not very good.

Everybody kept asking if it hurt.  And seemed surprised when I sort of shrugged it off.  I mean, yeah, it hurts a little if I chew on that side of my mouth – so I just chew on the other side.  It’s not enough pain to take any drugs for it, though.  And I have to admit, I’m surprised it doesn’t hurt more – I mean, I’m missing 1/4 of the enamel on the tooth – and I don’t require medication?

So I called the root canal dentist to make an appointment – and he’s getting me in on Thursday!  I’ve never had such speedy dental service – I was expecting a month long wait.  He asked what I was doing to manage my pain, and I told him that I didn’t really have any.  I guess people who get root canals are usually people in great pain?

After the root canal, I have a crown and 8 fillings to look forward to.  I think, then, I might just have a filling in every single one of my teeth.  Guess it’s time to stop drinking sugar ….

one-way conversation

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An interesting thing has happened since I’ve started blogging:  nobody needs to talk to me anymore.  They already know what’s up with me; they’ve read my blog.  (The only person who this doesn’t hold true for is b3, who doesn’t read my blog, because, well, that would involve reading.  Oh, and b2, who is currently having trouble with the ladeez and somehow thinks I might have some insight for him …)

I didn’t notice at first, it’s been a slow decline.  And, well, I tend to shy away from actual contact with other human beings, so it wasn’t something that even registered on my radar.  But now that I’ve noticed, I do kind of wonder what’s going on with everyone else …

Another side-effect of blogging, is that now there are people who know me, and I don’t know them.  Neighbors, work colleagues, church acquaintances.  My blog is my heart and soul, right there on the internet for anyone to see.  Not that I mind; I mean, I’m the one who puts it all out there.  But – it means that, for the mere price of a few minutes invested in reading my silly little thoughts, a person can really get a glimpse into all of my crazies.  And they don’t have to share any crazies back.  All of y’all have something on me – and I got nothin’ on you.

So – if you feel so inclined – please do let me know where your blogs reside.  I’d like to know what’s going on with you!  And well, I mean, an actual conversation, in person, is just a little too much … (Oh, and for the husband’s friends, I think I’ve already got you all on my google reader.)

Yesterday, at work, while I ate peanut m&ms, it dawned on me that I can’t remember a day, in recent history, in which I didn’t eat chocolate. 

I don’t really consider myself a chocoholic.  I mean, I like chocolate.  I like it a lot.  But a chocolate addict?  Surely not.  Surely I could go one day without eating chocolate.  And on that day with no chocolate, not miss it.  Never entertain a thought of, “boy, I sure would like a Snickers.”

Growing up, I remember my mom ALWAYS having a chocolate stash in her room.  I mean a SERIOUS stash.  Usually it was a 5 pound bag of m&ms, hershey’s kisses, or hershey’s miniatures.  I did partake on occasion (sorry, mom), but I always found it a little odd that she kept chocolate in her bedroom.  A LOT of it.  ALL the time.

And then I grew up.  My true appreciation for chocolate developed during my junior year at college – I had a particularly stressful class load, and I had moved into a new place with all new roommates.  Five of them.  That’s right 6 girls in one apartment … if that’s not a recipe for disaster, I don’t know what is.  Anyway, on really stressful nights, I would make a chocolate run – for two or three candy bars and a brownie mix.  And not just any brownie mix – it had to be a 9×13 brownie mix.  I would eat one candy bar on the way home.  I would eat one while the brownies were baking.  And then I would eat half a pan of brownies.  (Making a 9×13 ensured that I got what I needed – you don’t just make brownies when you live with 5 other women and NOT expect to share.)

Thankfully, those days are behind me.  I mean, the days where I eat half a pan of brownies in a frenzied state where I just NEED to get CHOCOLATE inside of me, no matter how sick to my stomach it might be making me.  I do still have times when I really need some chocolate, but usually one candy bar will do the trick.

So – a chocoholic?  Surely not. But …. I did start my day out with a giant junior mint … (I’m serious about it’s size, it’s a two-bite mint.)  And then I had some hot cocoa at work.  No chocolate at lunch … but 3 oreos when I got home.  And, well, it’s perfectly normal to have a chocolate stash.  Isn’t it?

I’m not an addict.  I can quit any time I want …

16 dirty teaspoons

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I knew it was high time to do the dishes this morning when I went to make myself a bowl of kix. We were down to the last bowl, which isn’t too unusual – but we were also out of spoons. Well, out of normal spoons – there was a goodly stack of extra-big spoons, so I made do.

It’s always a little embarrassing when we run out of spoons, because, well, we have 16 of them. We only intended to have 8, but didn’t read the fine print on the silverware we registered for – each set was service for 4, but with 8 teaspoons. We missed the 8 teaspoon part, and registered for two sets. Because, well, we didn’t want to run out of spoons.

And yet, even with 16 teaspoons, from time to time, we manage to dirty them all. There’s just the two of us (well, unless the cats or turtle have evolved to spoon-usage), so we generally have ample warning when all the spoons are about to be dirty. With normal spoon-usage at 2 per day, and maximum spoon-usage at 4 per day, it is easy to predict – and avoid – a spoon shortage. And yet they still manage to happen.

The difficult part of washing 16 spoons in the dishwasher, is that you have to make sure that they don’t get nested together. With only 8 silverware buckets, it isn’t an easy task. It’s not possible to separate all the spoons by placing a fork or knife between them – especially if you don’t have enough dirty other pieces of silverware. (What can I say, we love our spoons.) And the silverware will fall and settle where it may, with nary a care as to where you so lovingly placed it.

The dishwasher is now running and cleaning all the spoons – and then we will be set for another week.

has it been 10 years?

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Whew, not yet. I still have one more year, but the reunion rumblings have already started. I just got word from one of my new facebook buddies (and old high school friend) that it is scheduled for next August. Kudos to the class of 98 class presidency, they are seriously on top of things!

I just accompanied my husband to his 10 year reunion. In high school, my husband was not popular. He had a few really good friends, but didn’t really hang with the popular crowd. And the people who ignored him 10 years ago … ignored him at the reunion. Now, I realize that communication is a 2 way street; if he wanted to re-connect with all those people, he could have gone up and talked to them. But he found, just as they probably found, that he didn’t really care to re-connect. He spent 4 years of his life co-existing with them, followed by 10 years of not thinking about them. So one more weekend of not interacting with them didn’t really hurt his feelings.

Luckily for my husband, one of his really good high school buddies was there – so we mostly hung out with him and his adorably pregnant wife. He did get a chance to catch up with some other friends, but most of the people he was friendly with in high school didn’t make a showing at the reunion.

I was even less popular in high school than my husband was at his.  At the time, there were probably like 10 people who knew I existed, and maybe 3 of them would have considered themselves my friend.  10 years later, there are probably now 3 people who remember my existence – and they are already my facebook friends.  And, well, catching up through facebook is much easier than getting a plane ticket, hotel, and car – just to remember all those awkward high school moments that I have spent the last 9 years working to forget.

I lost my car today. In the parking lot. It was just for a few moments, but, still it’s never a good feeling when you get to that place in the lot where you left your car … and it’s not there.

Especially when you drive a Subaru Baja. It’s a car with a truck bed. Doesn’t get much more distinctive than that. The only thing more visible in a parking lot would be a bright yellow Expedition.

I have to admit, it took me awhile to warm up to the Baja. It wasn’t supposed to be my car, but after an unfortunate series of events, I found myself trading my beloved Escape for the Baja. (Just an inter-spousal trade, I still get to drive the Escape on occasion.)

I originally decided I would drive the Baja because I am a money nazi. When it didn’t work out for my husband, I insisted on keeping it at least until we were no longer upside-down on the loan. Because, well, I just don’t have it in me to pay for the honor of trading in a car.

Now that we finally hit the break-even point, however, I’ve found that I don’t want to give it up. I never knew how much fun it was to drive a car with all-wheel-drive and a turbo engine. It definitely gets out of its own way – while staying firmly gripped to the pavement. I can take turns like a mad man! Something I definitely shied away from in that more top-heavy baby suv of mine.

And as much as I was unsure of the truck bed on a car thing, it actually is very utilitarian. When I go to home depot, I can throw bags of dirt in the back without worrying about having to vacuum it out later. When I go grocery shopping, if it’s not too hot outside, I just dump all my groceries in the back.

I did, eventually, find my car, just a few cars past where I thought I left it. Hiding behind a bright-yellow Expedition …

google stalk-a-lytics

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If I were to just consider the comments on my blog as proof of readership, it would appear that I only have 3 or 4 visitors a month. And that’s just a little bit sad; almost might as well just write in that journal I keep on my nightstand. Yeah, that journal full of completely blank pages.

Fortunately, I have a little something called google analytics installed at akaemi.com. Anytime I start to wonder if anyone even cares about my silly little blog, I log in and look at the map overlay of my visitors. Google is so thoughtful as to plot dots on a world map, to show me where my traffic is coming from. The larger the dot, the more visitors I get from that area.

The biggest dot is always Ashburn. Because that’s where I live. And, well, I am the most active visitor of akaemi.com. Then there are several other northern Virginia/Maryland dots, courtesy of past and present coworkers, as well as my husband’s coworkers. (I’m pretty sure my husband makes his friends read my blog. So as to keep me from getting all despondent about having negative google analytics numbers. It doesn’t matter, though, I’ll take pity readers …)

The next biggest concentration of dots is always Washington state/Oregon. Because that’s where my family lives. And there’s like 6 of them, so that makes for a HUGE concentration of my readership.

Following the Pacific Northwest comes Texas. There are usually dots scattered through the state. My husband’s family all lives in Texas – including somebody who apparently lives in Texarkana … there’s always a Texarkana dot.

The other consistent dot is Miami. Since the launch of akaemi.com, I have had Miami fans. I assumed that it was the one person I knew who lived in the sunny city, but when I thanked her for reading a few weeks back, she had to admit that she didn’t know I had a blog. She is now a faithful reader – my Miami dot has grown bigger – but even before her support, I could always count on Miami. So, thanks Miami!

And then I usually have random dots. Today’s random dots are Santa Clara and Singapore. In the past, I’ve had hits from as far away as Brazil, Germany, Japan and Malaysia. Usually it’s just one visit, so that means akaemi.com was really not what they were looking for. But it’s always fun to get international hits.

So, all in all, google analytics lets me know that I have 26 loyal readers, and that 3 or 4 of you visit my site every day. As far as a website is concerned, those are pretty pathetic numbers – I’m never going to find fortune and fame through akaemi.com. As far as I’m concerned, however, 26 is a pretty awesome number! I pretty much have to include everybody I know to come up with 26 people.

So, thanks, you guys! I’m glad you keep coming back. 🙂

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